It's Just Lunch Minnesota Blog

Feedback Friday: Kathi and Joe

admin — Fri, 11 May 2012 17:03:12 +0000

He was a nice man, I liked him. I thought he was good looking, he had an interesting background and he was funny. It was a fun date! – Kathi, 44

Thank you! That was an excellent match, I really like Kathi. She’s very pretty and very open and we have quite a bit in common. I felt chemistry with her and I look forward to seeing her for our 2^nd date. –Joe, 47

Does Your Career Have An Effect on Your First Dates?

admin — Wed, 09 May 2012 16:57:04 +0000

When we aren’t eating, sleeping, playing, or working out, the vast majority of us are working. In fact, nowadays Americans work on average almost 8.6 hours per day, according to a 2010 survey from the Bureau of Labor Statistics. Even though we spend well over half of our waking lives at work, do we allow our careers to define who we are? More importantly, do we bring up our careers on a first date?

Employment Benefits

According to the majority of our respondents, the question of one’s career on the first date is an inevitable topic of discussion, with 53% of both men and women saying they feel comfortable about bringing up the subject. However, 32% of men and 26% of women said they would only mention their careers in passing, but avoid the details, at least on a first date.

So, do you bring up your career on a first date? Why not? Your career path is certainly a valuable insight in to who you are as a person. However, don’t let it dominate the entirety of the conversation. On the other hand, acting completely aloof about your career will make you seem a bit cagey.

Traditional Ideals or 21^st Century Living?

Interestingly enough, men and women end up diverging when it comes to ideas about career paths, money, and unemployment or underemployment. Our survey uncovered a mix of attitudes between the sexes that suggested longstanding traditional thoughts about who should provide in a relationship, yet also demonstrate modern ideas about the “career-oriented couple.”

Consider this: do we want to date someone with similar professional aspirations in mind? For men, the concept split fairly evenly, with 49% saying they would like to date a woman on a similar track, and with 51% saying similarities in careers do not matter as much. For women, however, the stakes were slightly different. A clear majority of women (68%) said they prefer to date a man with similar career aspirations.

It’s even more interesting when it comes to the question of money. Women have a more egalitarian approach to the question of who earns what. While the majority of men, over 71%, wouldn’t care if they deduced their date made far less money than them, women were more split on the issue. About 22% said they wouldn’t care if they made more money than their date. Yet, 47% of women surveyed said it would be a bit of a concern to them and a further 24% said it presented a big concern.

In summary, when it comes to earning money in the 21^st century world, there’s something to be said about being on equal footing. After all, we’re well past Mad Men and Downtown Abbey-era thoughts on employment.

We’re Excited For This New Dating Show

admin — Mon, 07 May 2012 16:52:03 +0000

With our favorite TV shows starting to air their season finales, TV networks are starting to promote their summer TV lineup. You may have heard the buzz about Eva Longoria developing a new matchmaking series. Last week, the TV show The Choice was announced. Our office is excited to watch this!

The new Fox summer show is modeled similar to NBC’s The Voice, but instead of a singing competition, this is dating show…complete with the spinning chairs. The to-be-announced celebrities will “audition” their potential love interests, without seeing their physical appearance until they push the “love” button….the ultimate blind date!

What do you think of this new dating show concept?

Looking to land a second date? We have some simple advice for you!

admin — Sat, 28 Apr 2012 20:08:15 +0000

Listen: It’s easy to talk about yourself on a first date. Don’t forget to ask questions about
date and listen. When you listen, it’ll be easy to ask follow-up questions to keep the conversation flowing. And, you never know…all that listening might make it easier to plan a 2^nddate. They might mention a movie they want to see, that they’re a baseball fan or have heard good things about a new restaurant in town.

Follow-Up to see if they got home safely: A simple text message asking if they made it home OK will not go unnoticed. Remember, chivalry isn’t dead!

Compliment: Everyone has first date butterflies and jitters. A genuine compliment goes a long way. “You look nice”, “You have pretty eyes”, “You have a great smile” goes far. And don’t forget to smile.

Plan the second date on the first date: If there is chemistry on that first date, don’t waste time. Plan a second date while you’re finishing up your first date. It’s a great feeling walking away from a good first date knowing that there will be another. If you seem excited about getting to know him/her, they will be excited about getting to know you too, don’t play games.

Feedback Friday: Cindy & Nate

admin — Fri, 27 Apr 2012 19:50:28 +0000

The date went fine! We planned our 2^nd date and have talked since. He is talking about a baseball game in 2 weeks too, so that’s exciting! It was a good match. –Cindy, 54

It was great with Carla! She’s the best match yet. The date went very well, she was engaging, intelligent and I found her attractive. We a lot in common, we definitely clicked! –Nate, 58

Dating Spreadsheets: What Not To Do

admin — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 19:43:22 +0000

Last week, a single New Yorker’s dating spreadsheet went viral after he sent the spreadsheet to a woman he recently went on a date with.

Note to our readers: do not do this.

The color-coded spreadsheet kept the information on his dates organized in the Excel document that listed their name, age, first impression, date information, post date notes and any follow-up communication.

At It’s Just Lunch, we recommend taking notes about your match and jotting down your thoughts about the date when you share your feedback with our matchmaking team. But, take our advice and do not share with your date….you might just find yourself being the next dating story on the TODAY show.

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Picture from: Banker rates dates in a spreadsheet–then shares the file with one of them.

“Wow, that’s a good wow too. That was the best date I’ve ever been on!”

admin — Fri, 20 Apr 2012 20:49:48 +0000

“Adam and I had a great time! The date went really, really, well. The best date so far. It was a great conversation, we could talk about anything…we spent 4 hours together!” –Caitlin, 32 “Wow, that’s a good wow too. … Continue reading →

After The First Date: What You Should and Shouldn’t Know

admin — Thu, 19 Apr 2012 21:03:15 +0000

The first date is an opportunity for you to sit down with someone and get to know them (we recommend spending an hour and half together) and see if there is enough interest and chemistry for a 2^nd date. Simple, right?

It’s important to remember that it’s just a date…it’s supposed to be fun! Relax and enjoy the person sitting across the table from you and focus on the present…not if this person is “the one” in the future.

As the first date winds down, here are some things you should know and a few things you shouldn’t (save them for the upcoming dates).

You Should Know…

-If you have at least one thing in common

-If they asked you questions about yourself

-If they’re smart/funny/kind/confident

-If they seem genuinely interested in you

-If they’re employed

You Shouldn’t Know….

-How amazing their ex was

-Their religion or political beliefs (it can be a sensitive topic for a first date)
-How many other people they’re dating

We’re debunking even more dating myths and we need your help!

admin — Tue, 17 Apr 2012 19:11:08 +0000

Twin Cities singles…we’re debunking more dating myths so we can provide you the most up-to-date dating tips.

We want your thoughts on unemployment, education, first date etiquette and more. Check out the survey here and stay tuned for the results!

You’re coordinated on your first date…now what?

admin — Thu, 12 Apr 2012 18:15:40 +0000

So, you had your interview with us and joined It’s Just Lunch. Exciting! You heard about your matches and now you’re coordinated on your first date! Now what?

It’s ok to be nervous and have those first date butterflies. Take a look at our past blog posts; there is plenty of information here on dating tips, first date etiquette and some do’s and don’ts.

We came across this article on The Very Best First-Date Moves. We love doing our research on dating…remember, we’re the First Date Specialists! Our Top 2 office tips included:

Don’t ignore the awkward moments

“The best first-date move that a guy ever used on me was when, at the second we were about to kiss for the first time, he said, ‘On an awkwardness scale, how would you rate this moment?’ It totally broke the ice and warmed us up to each other. I call this a ‘conscious conversation,’ where you openly acknowledge any uncomfortable moments that crop up. First dates are always anxiety-provoking on both sides, but when you can talk about that elephant in the room, it breaks the tension.”
– Nancy Slotnick, author of Turn Your Cablight On: Get Your Dream Man in 6 Months or Less

Ditch the three-day rule

“If you had a fantastic first date, call on the way home to say, ‘Thanks for the great time’ rather than waiting a few days. Tell your date that you know that you’re breaking all the first-date rules, but you wanted to call anyway. This simple move shows you’re not into playing head games, which will wow a first date.”
– Liz H. Kelly, author of Smart Man Hunting

To read more of the article, click here.

Good luck on your date…have fun and don’t forget to SMILE. We’ll talk to you tomorrow with feedback!